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Always Putting Others First? Here’s How to Stop Neglecting Your Own Needs

Feb 06, 2025

The Exhaustion of Always Being the One Others Rely On

This was by far one of the biggest life lessons I've had to learn on my journey. I get it—you’re the person everyone turns to when they need support, advice, or a helping hand. You hold everything together, take care of everyone else’s needs, and rarely, if ever, think about your own.

But at what cost?

If you’ve been prioritizing everyone else at the expense of your own well-being, exhaustion, resentment, and burnout are inevitable. It may have started as a natural habit—wanting to be there for the people you love. But over time, it can become a cycle that leaves you drained, undervalued, and disconnected from yourself.

For high-achieving women, this is especially common. The drive to succeed often overlaps with a deep-seated desire to prove worth, show up for others, and be seen as dependable. But the truth is, neglecting yourself doesn’t make you stronger—it only depletes you further.

That’s why, in this blog post, I want to start shifting your mindset from being nice to being kind.

The Difference Between Being Kind vs. Being Nice

Most of us were taught to be nice—to be agreeable, accommodating, and put others first. Society often rewards women for being the caregivers, the peacemakers, the ones who make sure everyone else is comfortable, even at their own expense.

But here’s the truth: Nice isn’t always good, and kind isn’t always soft.

  • Being nice is bending over backward for others, even when it drains you.
  • Being kind is having the courage to set boundaries while still showing up with compassion.

Being nice often looks like saying yes when you want to say no, avoiding conflict to keep the peace, or overextending yourself to meet others’ expectations.

Being kind, on the other hand, is about respecting yourself while still being thoughtful of others. It’s telling the truth with compassion, setting limits on your energy, and making decisions that align with your well-being.

How Always Being ‘Nice’ Keeps You Stuck

When you prioritize keeping others happy at your own expense, it doesn’t just impact your energy levels—it affects your mental and emotional well-being too.

  • Burnout: Overcommitting leaves you drained, both physically and emotionally.
  • Resentment: Constantly giving without receiving can lead to frustration.
  • Loss of Self: You forget what you want because you’re so focused on what others need.
  • Lack of Boundaries: People come to expect that you’ll always be available, which only reinforces the cycle.

If you’ve ever thought, I do so much for everyone, but no one does the same for me, it’s a sign that you’ve been prioritizing niceness over kindness.

It’s time to shift.

How to Shift from Nice to Kind (and Start Prioritizing Yourself)

1. Honor Your Needs Without Guilt

Being kind to yourself means acknowledging that your needs matter. You don’t need permission to take up space, to rest, or to say no. The more you honor your own well-being, the better you can show up in all areas of life.

Action Step: Write down three things that make you feel energized and fulfilled, then schedule them into your week.

2. Set Boundaries with Compassion

Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out—they’re about creating space for yourself while maintaining healthy relationships. Being kind means you can say no without feeling guilty and without unnecessary justification.

Instead of this:
“I feel bad, but I just can’t take this on right now.”

Try this:
“I really appreciate you thinking of me, but I don’t have the capacity for this at the moment.”

Action Step: Identify one area where you feel overextended and practice saying no in a way that feels natural.

3. Stop Expecting Others to Prioritize You First

No one is going to tell you, Hey, you look exhausted—why don’t you take some time for yourself? That’s your job. If you wait for others to recognize your needs, you’ll be waiting forever.

Action Step: The next time you start to feel overwhelmed, ask yourself: What would someone who deeply values themselves do in this moment? Then do that.

You Can Be Kind and Still Put Yourself First

The world doesn’t fall apart when you set boundaries.

People will adjust.

And the ones who truly value you? They’ll respect your choices and your well-being.

Shifting from being nice to being kind allows you to be stronger, more aligned, and more in control of your life. It’s not about neglecting others—it’s about showing up from a place of fullness, rather than exhaustion.

It’s time to stop waiting for the “right moment” to prioritize yourself.

Your needs matter just as much as anyone else’s.

Ready to Stop Putting Yourself Last?

If you struggle with setting boundaries, letting go of guilt, or prioritizing your own well-being, I’ve got you.

📥 Download My Free Guide: Overcoming People-Pleasing and Perfectionism and start reclaiming your time, energy, and self-worth today.

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Ready to unlock your full potential? Book a personalized session with me to gain clarity, actionable strategies, and the support you need to thrive personally and professionally. Let’s start building the future you’ve envisioned—together!

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