Overthinking Every Decision: Why You Never Feel Confident in Your Choices (and How to Break the Cycle)

Have you ever stood in the grocery store debating whether to buy chicken or fish for dinner? Or spent 20 minutes rewording a simple email before sending it?

Maybe it’s bigger decisions—choosing a new career path, saying yes to an opportunity, or setting a boundary in a relationship—that leave you frozen, afraid to make the wrong choice.

No matter how small or significant the decision, overthinking makes every choice feel high stakes.

And let’s be honest—it’s exhausting.

If you constantly second-guess yourself, feel anxious about making the "right" decision, or replay choices in your head long after they’re made, you're not alone. High-achieving women, in particular, struggle with this because they put pressure on themselves to get everything just right.

But here’s the thing: overthinking doesn’t actually help you make better decisions. In fact, it does the opposite—it keeps you stuck in hesitation, drains your energy, and erodes your self-trust.

So why do we do it? And more importantly—how do we stop?

Why Overthinking Happens (Even with Small Decisions)

Overthinking isn’t random—it’s a learned behavior, rooted in fear, perfectionism, and lack of self-trust.

Here’s what’s happening behind the scenes:

Fear of Making the “Wrong” Choice

We’re conditioned to believe there’s always a right and wrong decision. But what if neither is wrong? What if it’s just about choosing and moving forward?

Example: You spend 10 minutes debating chicken vs. fish for dinner. Why? Because you’re trying to make the best choice—maybe for nutrition, taste, or convenience. But in reality, either choice would be fine. The stress comes from the belief that there is a right answer when there isn’t.

Break the Cycle: Ask yourself, What’s the worst that will happen if I just pick one and move on? Then, take action without looking back.

Perfectionism and the Need to Control

Many overthinkers are perfectionists. They want to control the outcome and avoid any mistakes, so they overanalyze every possibility.

Example: You re-read an email five times before hitting send because you don’t want to sound unprofessional. You tweak a text message over and over because you’re afraid of being misunderstood. In both cases, overthinking creates unnecessary stress and delays progress.

Break the Cycle: Give yourself a time limit. Set a rule: “I will read this email once, make any necessary edits, and send it within five minutes.” The more you practice, the easier it gets.

Lack of Self-Trust

At the core of overthinking is a lack of trust in yourself. You don’t fully believe that you can handle whatever happens after the decision is made.

Example: You hesitate to commit to a workout plan because you’re afraid you’ll pick the wrong routine and not get results. The problem isn’t the plan—it’s doubting yourself to follow through.

Break the Cycle: Start by making small, low-risk decisions quickly and proving to yourself that you’ll be okay. Over time, this builds self-trust and confidence.

How to Make Decisions with Confidence (Without Overthinking)

If overthinking has been your default for years, shifting to decisive action won’t happen overnight. But with practice, you can retrain your brain to trust your choices and move forward.

Recognize When You’re Overthinking

Awareness is the first step. Next time you feel stuck in decision paralysis, pause and ask yourself:

• Am I making this harder than it needs to be?
• Will this matter a week from now?
• What’s the simplest next step I can take?

Set Time Limits for Decisions

Don’t give yourself unlimited time to analyze options. Instead:

• Small decisions (like what to eat or what to wear) → 30 seconds.
• Medium decisions (like choosing a workout plan) → 5-10 minutes.
• Big decisions (like career moves) → Set a deadline, gather information, and commit.

Trust That You’ll Handle Whatever Comes Next

No decision is perfect. But you are capable of adjusting and learning. Even if things don’t go as planned, you’ll grow from it.

Release the Need for a Perfect Outcome

Instead of trying to control every variable, remind yourself:

• Progress is better than perfection.
• Most choices are reversible.
• Taking action builds momentum; staying stuck drains energy.

Strengthen Your Decision-Making Muscles

Start with small, low-risk decisions and commit to them quickly. Over time, this builds trust in yourself, making big decisions easier.

Overthinking Is a Habit—But So Is Trusting Yourself

If you’ve spent years overanalyzing every decision, shifting to confident action will take time. But the more you practice, the easier it gets.

The goal isn’t to never think things through—it’s to trust yourself enough to make a choice and move forward.

Because at the end of the day? Confidence doesn’t come from making perfect decisions. It comes from knowing that no matter what happens, you’ve got yourself.

If you're ready to break the overthinking cycle and step into self-trust, let’s work together. Book a coaching session today and start making decisions with confidence.

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