What are some ways to rediscover myself after motherhood or career shifts?

Life and career changes can sometimes leave you feeling lost, questioning who you are and what you truly want next. Whether it’s a major life event, a career shift, or the end of an important chapter, these transitions can actually be an opportunity for self-discovery. In my experience—and from observing others—the process of reintroducing yourself to yourself often happens around our mid-30s to late 40s.

But how do you begin to understand who you are now and what you want to become?

It starts with taking time to reflect on where you are in your life and what has shaped your current mindset. Acknowledging how you’ve grown and changed over time can provide valuable insight into your current needs and desires.

Reflection Questions:

• What has this change taught me about myself?
• What aspects of my past identity still resonate with me?
• What do I want to leave behind or carry forward?

Action Step: Set aside quiet time to journal your thoughts and feelings about your transition.

Reconnect with Your Passions

One of the first things I did after my divorce was reconnect with the things I loved as a kid. I joined a club soccer group, and on occasion, I’d stop at random parks to play on jungle gyms (yeah, I’m sure the moms thought it was weird—especially when I didn’t have Willow with me).

Rediscovering yourself often starts with revisiting activities and interests that spark joy. Reflect on the hobbies or passions you may have set aside over the years, and don’t be afraid to explore new ones. It’s in these moments of play and curiosity that we often find pieces of ourselves we didn’t even realize were missing.

How to Reignite Passions:

• Make a list of activities you’ve always loved or wanted to try.
• Dedicate time each week to these pursuits, even if it’s just 15 minutes.
• Join local or online groups centered around your interests.

Example: If you loved painting as a child, sign up for a beginner’s art class to reignite your creativity.

Set New Goals and Intentions

Transitions offer a clean slate to redefine your goals. Setting clear intentions helps you align your actions with your newfound sense of self.

Steps to Set Goals:

• Identify areas of your life you want to focus on (e.g., health, relationships, career).
• Create SMART goals: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound.
• Break down larger goals into smaller, actionable steps.

Pro Tip: Revisit your goals regularly to assess progress and make adjustments as needed.

Embrace Self-Care as a Priority

Self-care is essential during periods of change. Taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being provides the foundation for self-discovery.

Self-Care Ideas:

• Practice mindfulness or meditation to stay present.
• Prioritize sleep, exercise, and a balanced diet.
• Spend time in nature to recharge and gain clarity.

Action Step: Schedule regular self-care activities and treat them as non-negotiable appointments.

Explore Your Strengths and Values

Understanding your strengths and values helps you build a life that feels authentic and fulfilling. These are the building blocks of your personal identity.

How to Identify Strengths and Values:

• Take a moment to think of a moment you felt confident, why did you feel that way?
• Reflect on moments when you felt proud or accomplished—what skills or qualities were at play?
• Write down your core values and consider how they align with your current life.

Example: If creativity and connection are core values, look for opportunities to incorporate them into your daily routines or career path.

Reassess Your Relationships

Transitions often prompt shifts in relationships. Evaluate which connections support your growth and which may no longer align with your new path.

Questions to Consider:

• Who uplifts and inspires me?
• Are there relationships that drain my energy or hold me back?
• How can I cultivate deeper connections with supportive people?

Pro Tip: Surround yourself with individuals who align with your values and encourage your personal growth.

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

Growth happens outside your comfort zone. Embracing new experiences can help you learn more about yourself and uncover hidden passions or talents.

Ways to Step Out:

• Travel to a new place, even if it’s a nearby city or town.
• Try an activity you’ve always been curious about, like public speaking or rock climbing.
• Attend events or meetups to expand your social circle.

Mindset Shift: View discomfort as a sign of growth rather than fear.

Practice Gratitude and Celebrate Progress

Gratitude shifts your focus from what’s missing to what’s present. It allows you to immediately come back to the now. Celebrating your progress, no matter how small, reinforces positive change and motivates you to keep going.

How to Practice Gratitude:

• Write down three things you’re grateful for each day.
• Reflect on your achievements at the end of each week.
• Express appreciation to the people who support you.

Example: Celebrate small wins like completing a journaling session or reconnecting with an old hobby.

Be Patient with Yourself

Rediscovering yourself is a journey, not a destination. Allow yourself the time and space to explore without pressure or judgment.

Mantra to Remember: “I am a work in progress, and that’s okay.”

Pro Tip: Embrace setbacks as learning opportunities rather than failures.

Navigating life's transitions can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Working with a coach can provide you with the tools and guidance to uncover limiting beliefs, gain clarity on your goals, and create actionable steps toward your next chapter. If you’re ready to explore what’s possible, I’d love to support you—reach out, and let’s chat about how we can work together to help you rediscover yourself.