When Guilt and Boundaries Collide: A Struggle Many Women Face

In my most recent newsletter, I asked my readers to share something they’re struggling with. I was blown away by the responses, and one stood out as something so many of us feel but rarely speak about:

"How do you deal with the guilt that comes with not wanting to be around your family? I feel awful even sending you this, but sometimes I just want to be able to escape to an island for a couple of weeks to rest and regroup. I love my family, but I feel like I’m always doing, and I never get a chance to breathe."

This response hit home. How often do we carry that guilt, feeling torn between the love we have for our families and the overwhelming desire to just breathe for a moment? If you’ve felt this way, let me say this: you’re not alone, and it’s okay to feel this way.

Why This Happens

As women, we are often raised to be nurturers. Society teaches us that our value is tied to how much we give to others—our families, our careers, and our communities. Over time, this constant giving can leave us feeling depleted, and the guilt creeps in when we recognize the need to take time for ourselves.

But here’s the truth: you can’t pour from an empty cup.

When we don’t set boundaries or make time to replenish ourselves, we become emotionally drained. That lack of energy makes even the things we love—like time with our families—feel overwhelming. The guilt you’re feeling is not a reflection of your love for them; it’s a signal from your body and mind that you need rest.

What Needs to Change

1. Reframe Rest as a Necessity, Not a Luxury.
   Rest isn’t selfish—it’s essential. Taking time for yourself doesn’t mean you’re abandoning your family; it means you’re showing up for them as your best self.

2. Set Boundaries Without Guilt.
   Boundaries are an act of love—for yourself and for those around you. When you take time to recharge, you’re teaching your family that self-care is important, and you’re modeling a healthy, sustainable way to live.

3. Communicate Your Needs Clearly.
   Often, we expect others to recognize when we’re overwhelmed. But the truth is, people aren’t mind readers. Let your family know when you need a moment to yourself and explain why it’s important. You might be surprised at how supportive they can be.

A Simple Action You Can Take Today

Carve out 15 minutes just for you. Go for a walk, sit in silence, read a book, or do anything that brings you peace. Set a timer if you need to and commit to doing it daily. This small practice can have a big impact on your mental and emotional well-being.

Let’s Talk

If this resonates with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts. What’s something you’ve been struggling with lately? Whether it’s around boundaries, emotional balance, or simply finding time to eat a healthy meal, let this be the safe place where you can be seen and heard.

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